resolutions {more like goals} ....

I tried to send this a few days ago and it didnt work, go figure ....

------Original Message------
From: mysecret411@gmail.com <mysecret411@gmail.com>
To: <mysecret411.uniquebutterfly@blogspot.com>
Date: Mon, Dec 21, 3:06 AM +0000
Subject: resolutions {more like goals} ....

So I have a list of goals for this next year ....

1. write/type more

2. see more of my kids

3. enjoy being single!

4. sew/create/read at least one thing a mmonth besides the paper ....

Lordy ....

So .... last night was fun! Went after work to go home to eat dinner and then spent some time with a few gfs downtown celebrating their graduation from Dentist school .... and after that went to another gf's house (she leaves Sunday sometime) and we hung out and looked at pics of the wedding from earlier yesterday and then she did my hair and I left about midnight. Got home and made a phone call and heard about Casting Crowns - LUCKY!! - and then went to bed. Today not much is going on. Looking for a pea coat of mine. And looking for a new tote bag. Here's a few "deeper" secrets LOL:

Firsts after getting home since divorce started -

Dance - with JRS to I've Got a Feeling by Black Eyed Peas
Sleepover - CCS : )
Coffee/Moca - CCS and Peppermint Moca OH SO GOOD!!
ChuckECheese - mom n some of her gfs
Job - DS/McD

A Lil More ....

ok .... just cancelled my counciling appt for tomorrow while I remembered since I wont be in town for it .... came up with a name Im going to start calling myself - Eva - and Im sitting at the eye docs {this time not for me} listening to my iPod while shes examined .... and we got my food for the month from the pantry that Im given .... a bit o frozen meat : ) Then we headed to the library and I got some language books {two are small enough dictonaries that I can take everywhere} and after this we will head to the other thrift store in town and see about stuff for the kids for Christmas .... maybe Ill find a new bigger bag .... who knows .... more later tho : )

Deep Secret ....

So I wanna start dating again .... and Im going on a friendly date {meaing a hardly-touching-because-Im-not-ready-and-definetely-no-kissing!!} to Hong Kong buffet {Chinese is one of my favs!!} and then off to a movie .... of which one Im not sure yet .... and now watching Greys .... Season Two .... not sure which disk .... anyways .... this secret is one of the deepest but not the biggest and the biggest has a better chance of making it to PostSecret {http://postsecret.blogspot.com and http://www.twitter.com/postsecret} than on here because its THAT big .... ANYWAYS .... so this secret: Im back in love with a guy I adored in High School .... and he lives in town .... NOT the Hong Kong guy .... has a younger brother I gaduated with who seems to hate me .... but Id like to hope I have a chance this time .... we shall see ....

Anyways .... bedtime after I post to my non-secret bog .... gotta work 6 hours tomorrow after an appt and groceries .... later! : )

WTFrick?!?!?!?! ....

So .... PLEASE help me understand this .... a MARRIED man and his wife whom I have known since 2006 have decided to open their marriage .... and he decided he wants to screw me and tonight/this AM when I decide to not go out dancing and I text him Im not going to come out he responds "I know you're tired and I understand that but Im disappointed you're not coming out tonight or letting me over to your place" as IF Im actually going to do anything with him!! THANK GOD he doesnt know I live a block away from where he and his wife currently are .... so PARDON ME for respecting myself and not sleeping with a married man and respecting MYSELF and knowing my boundaries and knowing how far I want to go with whom .... so yeah ....

At least I got some good news besides losing a job .... things are starting to fall into place {with a cost of course} and Im happy almost all the time - only when HE makes me mad or I get emotional from the boys am I upset otherwise Im usually in a good mood which is more than I can say about the last year at least .... AND no headaches!!

But more later .... time for bed ....

Morals ....

Wow .... so my morals and ideas of anything and everything are changing almost daily. Like, for example .... a friend of mine who was once a manager at a job I was at for a few months back in 06 is trying to get me to see her husband .... weird?! Not to her/them - apparently they've decided on starting an open marriage and he wants me .... and she's OK with that!! Not sure what to think besides that I'm flattered that he's interested .... and then there's the creep that calls me 6 {!!} friggin times last night between 12 midnight and 1 AM !! WTF?!?!?!?! So yeah .... plus I'm hoping I can change whatever birth control I'm on today because of the lack of consistency of cycles .... we shall see ....

Anyways, more later. Headed to the appt!

Nice ....

My kids are getting their molars .... I have a headache and something is bugging my right eye .... I miss my kids and feel like Im missing so much! I should effin be there right now!! OH and I miss my car ....

This Past Weekend ....

This past weekend drove me NUTS. My other boss kept coming in and yelling at me while I worked at the main job and I am still getting over the stupid cold I have. And it was busy too - dinner party Friday night that turned into Sat AM when I spent time at a local bar and then I worked all day Sat and came home to change and forgot a bday card and went and had dinner with family and then had my Haunted House "virginity" popped Sat eve (at like 930 nonetheless too!!) and we're not sure who screamed louder - her or me LOL .... and after that I was going to go home and sleep but I got pulled into the bar by me and was there til close and DAMN was it packed!! It was fun and I managed to get some sleep Sunday AM before church but WOW haha. And then of course I had some help moving some boxes off my floor and then was taken to lunch before work and work was SO dead I didn't even really need to be there. And I thought I'd come home and sleep after eating (had to drop the car off that night for the repairs today and then we went to the store before she brought me home and I got to see the kids pics from the email that I'm still VERY pissed about!) but that didn't happen. I started Something New and then got a 4 1/2 hour phone call and ended up falling asleep .... VERY sorry!! OH and if this certain guy doesn't stop calling and texting I just MIGHT go crazy!! LEAVE ME ALONE DUDE!!

Anyways .... more later. Going to get a few CDs - fixed my phone earlier and got a free rental from RedBox that I left with her and she'll be here soon - and then get ready for my dinner "date" .... til next time take care : )

I'm Apparently A Whore ....

A whore - can you imagine?!

of:

magazines

DVDs

info

**most from the library!! WTF?!

No title for this baby LOL

Wow I just wrote a fantastic post and it didn't post. Awesome!

So I HATE my husband!! VERY glad he's a state away but sad my kids are with him. I guess you really CAN'T have your cake and eat it too .... I should know by now how he is and still I keep hoping. At least I finally made the appt for the class I have to take and apparently it's not free .... whatever. Halloween is coming and I still need to figure out a costume and all .... and this weekend will be REALLY busy between work and family .... and my damn phone keeps going off, all them damned twitter updates!!

Hahaha .... anyways .... more later. Going to go update my other blog. More realities later : )

The Beginning of Many Secrets Yet To Come ....

So .... these will obviously not be written in order of when they happened because Im not that organized in this situation LOL : )

Anyways, a bit of a warning Ill probably blog often. One thing about me is that I Twitter a lot haha : ) Oh and I keep my nails - toes and fingers - painted .... I love movies and my iPod. Hate my ex who will soon be my husband but sometimes I still love him. I hope to someday remarry and be a firemans, policemans or preferably military active duty servicemans wife. I love jewelry. Read PostSecret weekly. Hate hate HATE that my husband has my twin boys. I miss my kids SO very VERY much!! Movies that skip drive me crazy but since I dont have cable I can only watch movies .... I LOVE chocolate milk and ADORE hot chocolate year round. The place I call home is TINY but its mine. LOVE writing. And poetry! Romantic sap : ) Music is my life! I collect postcards haha .... Working two jobs sucks. I miss being in a relationship. Like, a lot! The free table at the library is a BFF of mine LOL .... I have TONS of magazines from it. I read a lot too when I can. I have like 6 books to get thru haha ....

Anyways .... more soon!

First Secrets ....

So this is my newest and most secret blog. You will probably find this reading rather entertaining. A lot of it is just me whining about my life since right now there's a lot going on and I will never give out info to give away who I am or who I'm whining about ; ) So read on and enjoy!